How to suspect charlatans, scammers and criminals?

From Henry's personal library

Essas características são sinais de alerta. Elas também valem para relacionamentos em geral:

  • Services offered. In the case of therapists and health care professionals in general they are very careful or mindful to not mock, not offend, not judge and not ask rhetorical questions. I'd say that the same could be applied to technicians that work with machines, systems, maintenance and repairs. The careless professionals are those who lack humility.

  • Presentation. Criminals, charlatans and scammers don't wait for people to come at them without advertisements. They have to have good communication skills and persuasive language. Every person has to communicate because it's a prerequisite of society itself. Would you have a good first impression of a fat couch potato nutrition specialist? Would you trust a psychologist who makes fun of tragedies? To advertise their services and themselves they can resort to taking pictures next to celebrities, people with great power or the president of a country for example. They may say things such as "I trained the best electric guitar player in the world", "The Nobel prize winner had classes with me", "The president of France had an appointment with me", etc. There is a matter of ethics here because it can be unethical to take advantage of other's image to promote oneself. In case it's a lie that the president of France had an appointment with that person, that's a huge red flag and it must not be ignored. To give an example that borders the unethical: schools that promote themselves by taking advantage of pictures of past students who were accepted by famous universities, including motivational phrases which weren't said by that student, without asking for their permission first.

  • To be sponsored. This one is controversial. Not every sponsored person is "sellout" to some big industry. Everyone needs financial support in one way or another. To be bounded by contracts with a large media company or to be sponsored by some big industry raises up complicated ethics which I'm not qualified to discuss here. What I can say is that large companies tend to value their self-images to a high degree, meaning that, if they uncover that they were sponsoring some charlatan for example, they are very quick to cut ties with him or her. We do have complicated matters regarding false accusations, undermine, frame-ups and foul plays. Unfortunately, I don't have enough expertise to discuss them here.

  • Jump on the bandwagon. There are big companies who control what deserves more attention because they own the social media, the search engines and control what is advertised and how. The ethical questions regarding marketing are too complicated for me to discuss here.

  • Allure and coercion. If we are talking about allure, invites, tempting offers, something too good to be true, enticing promises, aggressive teasing and coercion. Then we might be dealing with a criminal or a scammer. A true, reputable and trustworthy professional wouldn't try to push you, coerce or try to allure you to earn your trust or convince you of anything. A critical red flag is any attempt to trap you, whether physically or mentally. That's why one should always differentiate between professional relationships, friendships and family relationships. To not have clear boundaries between each category is a recipe for disaster. Addendum: what about salespersons and advertisements? I can't discuss it here because I lack deeper knowledge about philosophy and honesty.

  • Prying and hiding one's true colors Be careful with how much information you give away to others! A critical red flag are people who want to know everything about you, ask too many questions, are too intrusive and don't respect limits. Scammers, criminals and abusive people always hide their true colors and pretend to love or to adore you. They show a strong interest in everything you do and have. They can be super helpful, supportive and kind to the point of being too kind. Always remember the proverb "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is". From their side, they refuse to reveal much about themselves, dodge / sidestep / evade the expected answers, are tight-liped or lie a lot about themselves. How to know if they are lying about themselves? You have to look deeper, check for yourself and search for yourself. Can they be confused with someone who is just naive and maybe highly anxious, who doesn't have any intention to exploit others? It can happen. However, ask yourself: Why would such a person give you gifts, praise you too much or would be so much invested into knowing all about you and what you have?

  • To take it personally. Criminals, scammers and toxic people don't care about who believes in them. They don't care about your name, nationality, gender, whether you are rich or poor. Their only goal is to profit off you. Ask yourself: Why would this person create a scam targeted or designed just for you? Why are you so special that that criminal, charlatan or scammer would take a particular interest in you? Nobody else would be their target? Look, vengeances and crimes of passion are another story and are not the focus here.

  • Positivity or negativity. If they exaggerate positivity, progressivism or wishful thinking, beware! The opposite is to exaggerate on negativism, pessimism or be prophetic. Which also means to stay alert! A trustworthy person wouldn't resort to exaggeration, either positive or negative, as a means to catch your attention. Can exaggeration be a sign of a mental health disorder? It can, but I wouldn't be able to diagnose anything. Also, remember that just because someone is optimistic or pessimistic doesn't mean that they do suffer from some disorder.

  • Romanticization or overdramatization. Motivational speeches that promote success, overcoming challenges and obstacles, great fortune, incredible learning, fantastic cure or massive evolution. Toxic or abusive people can rely on traumatic past events, sadness or that they were severely deprived of basic needs to make you more likely to accept them. Beware that their recount can be a big lie. Another strategy adopted by charlatans, abusive people or scammers is to earn your trust with jokes, giveaways or games to captive their audience. The advertisements can include dramatic scenes such as climbing the Everest, scenes of wars or of great suffering. Emotional soundtracks can also be used. It's the emotional appeal factor and it can, sometimes, be a sign of emotional blackmail or guilty trips. Fatalism or foolproof guarantees should make you turn on a blaring alarm.

  • Mystery, mysticism or magic. They offer solutions and answers that nobody else does. They say that the others are hiding the truth from you. They say that they know a top secret treasure. They can borrow knowledge from various religions to draw your attention. They may portray themselves as high spiritual guides. People who are desperate for answers or solutions and/or are too naive are easily deceived by them. When real science doesn't seem to bring you peace or answers, what else can bring them to you? If a religion or a doctrine doesn't do it, what else is left? Pseudoscience.

  • Technical terms and/or jargons. They abuse technical terms from engineering, medicine, law, psychology, religion, etc. All these fancy words are meant to give the false image that they are experts or highly qualified authorities. They really overvalue this false image of knowing-it-all. They can rely on real scientific research, but that doesn't meant that they do understand or even read it. It's worth to mention that scientific research can be biased by itself. Addendum: what if you, yourself, is pedantic or nitpicky with your choice of words? It can signal that you have issues with pride, arrogance, vanity or perfectionism that you are unaware of.

  • To hide behind platitudes or to overuse catchphrases.. They abuse quotes from literature, philosophy or religion. Catchphrases or flowery language are great tools of persuasion. Now, here is the question: is it wrong to persuade or to manipulate? No, not by itself. It really depends on the context. Everyone needs to earn trust, to have a good public image and is required to have good communication skills. Those who are superficial don't show a deeper understanding of their own words and lack coherence between what they say and what they do.

  • Need of validation. One strategy to captive the audience is to resort to releasing new content in a constant stream that never stops. It may become hard to keep up with. Here is the question: is this person focusing more on promoting themselves than on studying and on self-improvement? People like this love to be flattered and praised and can fall into a depressive state when they aren't receiving as much attention as they want to. Such people lack proper emotional development.

  • To overvalue credentials and to be obsessed with prestige. If we compare two professionals, one with a degree from a top ranked university / college and another with a degree from a low ranked university / college, we have a natural bias of thinking that the former is a better professional. Sometimes we can be fooled by such bias because not everyone holding a degree from a top ranked university or college is reputable or trustworthy. To give a practical example, think of professionals who go to great lengths to fake their degrees or present counterfeit certifications. This is a great way of telling whether a professional gives more importance to their values or to their credentials and their prestige. Materialistic people tend to overvalue their credentials, possessions or careers more than people and relationships.

  • To make sweeping generalizations. For ex: if it worked for me, it has to work for the majority. Another strategy is to use arbitrary percentages such as 79% or 98% (it can also be numbers close to zero to generate panic too), which can be backed by scientific research. They may abuse the expressions "everyone does it", "the majority / the minority" or "nobody cares" to win you over. Other words include "always" and "never", "everyone" and "nothing", "unique or the only one" can also be a sign of sweeping generalizations.

  • Appeal to scarcity. For ex: somebody who proclaims to be one of a kind, special, as if he or she was the 1% that nobody in world knows about. To self-proclaim to be different from everyone else, with exceptional qualities or features that nobody in the world has. People who are exploitative or predators resort to flattery, love bombing and give you a special treatment to make you feel special. An example: a form of flattery is to agree with everything you say, think or do. Behind the scenes they are looking for vulnerabilities in you.

  • To be a contrarian. To proclaim oneself to be creative, different, innovative and standing apart from everyone else is a sign of vanity, a fragile ego and somebody who just wants to show off. These can also be signs of narcissism. There are people who truly are a cut above the rest and there is nothing wrong in feeling special, because everyone is different from everyone else in at least one way or another. The problems arise when people feel special in a way that distorts their identity and this brings up serious issues in their lives. Ultimately, if you think on human beings as part a biological species that share one planet, everyone shares common basic needs, which includes minimum conditions to sustain life. Thinking about norms, patterns, rules, education, systems, laws, etc. All these don't exist for nothing and one cannot proclaim to be creative and innovative if they are a contrarian.

  • To overcriticize the well established science. People who invest more time into criticism, condemning and showing off as revolutionary is a huge red flag. People who split the world into fair and unfair, justice and injustice, worthy and unworthy, heroes and villains, good and evil, etc. These aren't good signs and can also signal some personality disorder. To be self-confident and self-assured is one thing. To be somebody who is distrustful and keeps doubting everyone is something else and should raise suspiciousness. Think about it: to generate controversies is a form of advertisement. For ex: a fearmonger can say that vitamins cause diseases without having any proofs or scientific research to back it up.

  • Envy, jealousy and martyrdom. To discredit or cast doubt on the competition is a red flag. For ex: being satirical or ironic. These are people who rely too much on comparisons, be it to place themselves above or below others. In case it's to place themselves above others, they are attempting to show dominance over a region or zone, or they want to show superiority. It's a sign of egocentrism, selfishness and of people who don't accept the competition. These people hate to lose. In case they are making comparisons placing themselves below others, they lean towards playing the victim. They refuse to take accountability and point fingers at everyone else. They tell how much they are persecuted, rejected, excluded, ignored, misunderstood, victim of society's pressure or the target of unfair attacks. They attempt to justify the unjustifiable or explain the unexplainable. All that signal people who are reckless, insecure and immature. A great example of such people is those who attribute everything that goes wrong in their lives to unfairness and everything that goes right in the lives of others to sheer luck or maybe how unequal the world is.

  • Rage and revenge. People who hold tightly to grudges, envy and/or resentment end up being very passive-aggressive. They can be more hot-headed or not. A sign of people who are consumed by envy and resentment or grudges is to be embroiled in relationship scandals or court battles. When the emotions take over people act on impulse and they much more prone to erring or making grave mistakes. If we combine all which I mentioned previously with bad character or wickedness, then we have smearing campaigns, personal attacks and sabotage. These actions can be both overt or covert. It's also worth mentioning that some people don't do it themselves, but they do show their support to others who do it. Professionals who have a shady nature lose their credibility and trustworthiness. All the previous are signs of people who fail to grow up in life and/or suffer from severe traumas.

  • Emotional stability. Highly competitive professionals who are also emotionally unstable don't want to fall behind, feel uncomfortable if they fade into obscurity and hate to be challenged. The opposite of exposition is to hide away from the press. Which also doesn't necessarily means humility. To confuse humility with being forgotten, with being left behind, with falling from grace, with being irrelevant are not good looking business cards. Some people develop emotional stability early in their lives, while others only much later on, if ever. Be warned! Emotional stability is not the same thing as to attempt to control emotions with willpower, to be devoid of emotions or to be apathetic. Do not confuse emotional stability with being indifferent or cold, either.

  • Humility is not false modesty. Those who are truly humble don't self-proclaim that they are humble because humility is not something to be proud of. It's not a trophy. Humility is not an excuse for anything, either. It doesn't feel right to use humility as an excuse for some behavior or as an excuse to not follow what the others do follow. A sign of lack of humility is to argue, for example, that a medic knows more than other professionals that aren't medics. Comparisons that put different professions into some hierarchy are often biased and signal the lack of humility by placing one profession above another. Another sign of lack of humility is to exaggerate the talk about honesty, virtues, morals, ethics, care, affection, love, etc in an attempt to transmit an unwavering or steadfast and an undisputable self-image. To present oneself as pristine, flawless, squeaky clean, sometimes luxurious, is very very suspicious.

  • The Hubris trap and the trap of conceit. Be careful with shared aspects such as having studied in the same college or school as you, having the same personal tastes, following the same religion as you, following the same philosophy as you, reading the same books, having similar personal experiences and other "coincidences". More often than not, we can take such shared characteristics between them and we as certificates or proofs of integrity. In addition, we can be fooled by biases and think that we know and understand more than, what in fact, we really do. This has the dangerous effect of turning us into blind believers. The scammer or charlatan may very well be lying about following the same religion as you for instance. The same advices can be given to people who look for their perfect soulmate.

  • Knowledge. One thing is crucial and is behind everything listed above. One cannot be ignorant or alienated. One should do their own research and enlighten themselves. Compare different sources and professionals. Do criticize. Do check for oneself. Do be aware of one's reality. It's not a matter of learning everything that the others know about, but a matter of being able to differentiate the truth from falsehood. One should be able to tell apart what works from what doesn't. What is feasible from what isn't. What is accessible from what is inaccessible. What is trustworthy from what isn't. What is safe from what is unsafe.

References in portuguese

"Metaforando" and "Não minta pra mim" aren't channels dedicated to psychology. Nonetheless, we can learn about manipulation in them.

References in english

The channels about narcissism and narcissists usually discuss lies, manipulation, two-faced people and the emotions behind all these behaviors. Conceptually, narcissism has a lot of overlap with charlatanism and scammers because it's more or less the same social matters and brain areas.

Daniel Fox, Ramani and Todd Grande have videos that help to identify good and bad therapists.

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